For a moment before it began to rain this evening, Ryan and my brother took Hudson outside to play on the swings. I slid a tray of chicken wings into the oven for dinner, and stood staring at a pile of library books, pipe cleaners twisted into the shapes of birds and balloons, and a high chair coated with oats from breakfast. I inhaled big – like when Hudson pretends to smell a bouquet of artificial flowers, because I just wanted to suck the moment in. We are trying to get pregnant again. With Hudson, it happened before I could blink, but this time I am antsy. And so ready. We started taking foster classes a couple of months ago when we both suddenly realized that what we really wanted was another of our own. Fostering is still in the long term plan, because Lord knows there are enough babies without homes already, but for right now in this season of anticipation, I’m trying hard to savor the present. In all of it’s pillow fort, sword-fighting, dried oatmeal glory.